It was so surreal, unbelievable in it's simplicity and awe-inspiring. There are no words, many thoughts - most of which were culturally inserted.
I went to visit Bear, took the train so we could go out and party - surprisingly something we've never done together. With no plans in mind, just a good mindset and a decent amount of sleep I get to his place where I'm awaited with a beer. Good start.
After a bit of random youtube clips we head out - where to? Fuck me if either one of us knew where we would end up. After about an hour or more of walking around with no good bar scene to find we come across this self proclaimed "Go-Go" bar. We take a look at each other and shrug, obviously over-thinking something we have been thinking of doing for months, but never got around to doing.
So we ask the unusually casual big bouncer at the front - reasonable price. Then we get inside our own heads, end up going to a bar next to it where we are incredibly rudely greeted by what can only be described as a hag. A fat-armed, short-haired, feminist wannabe who thinks she's funnier than Jim Carrey's asshole in Ace Ventura but came off as a gigan-ormous tryhard. We proceeded to drink our unreasonably overpriced beer at this 80's style bar which was suspiciously overpopulated with dudes, but not prettyboys - if it was a gay bar, it was a low-end one at that.
So we talk ourselves into going there - done! lets do it! Now sufficiently (or so I thought) lubricated with alcohol we go inside.
As we step inside, I'm underwhelmed and yet increasingly uncomfortable - we are clearly the youngest people here (22) So we situate ourselves on a bench right in front of the main stage and I start smiling from ear to ear at all the thong-bearing strippers littered across the place. The stage is empty, I glance to my left at a stripper (probably the classicly hottest one there) giving an unhealthily fat looking man a lapdance. Bear shouts to me over the strangely ambivalent background music: "I'm gonna get a lap dance from her!" and shamelessly points at the beauty on top of the beast to my left across the stage.
Shocked at his concerningly comfortable behaviour I can't get the words out of my mouth fast enough before I'm approached by a hot piece of stripper in a dental-floss g-string and a tiny bikini top. She places her surprisingly warm hands on my lap and simultaneously two things happen in the reverse order - 1. I am overwhelmed with shock at the thought of a lapdance from a stripper 2. I perpare for a totally normal situation of a hot girl hitting on me.
Offering a lapdance and "touch anything" my self-flattery denies me of the chance at saying something semi-coherent and I blurt a syllable never heard before in this half of the galaxy. I shake my head and she indifferently turns her head to Bear and raises her eyebrows - while still basically having my eyelids a mere inch from her nipples. Calmly, he disperses of her.
As the carefully sanitized pole is being rubbed, humped, climbed and slid down the surprise of the level of the performance continues to stun me to a state of near-euphoric stupor. My complete and utter concentration at the acrobatics and well... "theatrics" is abruptly broken at the sight of a mere mortal woman in jeans and t-shirt no less. As I notice her approaching from the corner of my eye the concern of interruption looms.
Surely enough my right leg is being grinded, my shock at this obliterated my motor and speech skills - yet again! "Get your knees together so I can dance for both of you" this evil temptress commands and I must obey so I move up closer to Bear. Throughout this ordeal I have no knowledge of what he was doing/thinking/saying.
This is abruptly interrupted by a "super-sketchy" (as was decided at the end of the night) angry-looking dude. He pulls her away and they start shouting at each other or so I assume - there was a main stage performance. I spot him coming at us with a scorn across his face. He shouts: "Did you pay her?"
What is the right answer here do you think?......................
I go with the truth and shake my head, he repeats his question and follows up with a glare. I stick to my head shake and he walks away. This is followed by a long break in which we blankly stare at the stage and occasionally I try to put my thoughts into words unsuccessfully. Finally Bear turns and asks me "You'll never guess what's the time" "2 guesses" I said, "10 minutes.... or 10 hours" I had no idea. As he had to get up early, we go home, but not before coming across supersketch and the double-lap grinder.
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