"Wake up!" - I'm in a rush.
Focusing in on where I am. Uncomfortable benches, tall ceiling, busy people walking quickly back and forth. I look to my side and I see her. It's been over a year since we last spoke and just about three since I saw her. She appeared seemingly unchanged, that warm, understanding and accepting smile melts the cold embrace of waking up uncomfortable, thawing the deepest strains of my past experiences.
Just like old times.
Urgency in her tone, yet soothing to my ears. "Quickly! We're going to miss the plane!" I find a suitcase resting at my feet. Looks familiar enough. We start marching in a semi-panicked pace. In hindsight, I recall spotting a quasi-familiar face, an unwelcome and smug one at that. Then the penny drops - it's her current beau. Being the former gives all the satisfaction of watching your once-loved one embrace another.
Not questioning anything, I should've know. Apathetic about the destination, my heart drops to my ankles, throat arid and I realise - "I'm in my own worst nightmare."
Two days ago this was my dream, well, the one I remember. Wish I didn't and glad I do simultaneously.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Prelude
"Come over," he said, "there are girls here that want to see you."
"What girls? Do I know them?"
"Nope, just some girls - come on!"
Reluctantly I caved to his request. Not because he asked - curiosity, intrigue and a little bit of boredom were my drinking buddies that night.
She comes over - seemingly very drunk and horny. Her pale skin damp and slightly shiny from the bar-sweat. Freckles. Red hair that goes on forever, like waves crashing on the shore endlessly. My interest was teased, tickled and by the end of the night her phone number was mine.
Smitten
We talked, laughed, shared and opened up to one another about ourselves. We kissed over and over again, satisfying our sexual tension from the last time's teaser. Perhaps too much so as we were left bare - not in skin, but in intimacy. As such, our relationship seemed to progress with lightning speed.
Confused - just as you let a shrapnel of light in...
But, there was something missing. Actually two things. First, it felt as though we couldn't hold a conversation without resorting to light petting to cover the overly-concious realisation that we don't match intellectually. It took me a while to figure out the second. Sex - there was none. It wasn't synchronising up - very intimate talks and touching, but... nothing, no progression.
Surprised
So I asked her, lo and behold she was a virgin in all manners of the word. An inexperienced, naive and most likely, scared girl. I wasn't totally taken by surprised, wasn't my first time around in this situation, but there was something different this time. I just didn't know what yet.
On the fence
These two obstacles stood firmly. Bothered me constantly and I kind of liked it - at first. I didn't think it would concern me as much as it does.
Now what?
"Come over," he said, "there are girls here that want to see you."
"What girls? Do I know them?"
"Nope, just some girls - come on!"
Reluctantly I caved to his request. Not because he asked - curiosity, intrigue and a little bit of boredom were my drinking buddies that night.
She comes over - seemingly very drunk and horny. Her pale skin damp and slightly shiny from the bar-sweat. Freckles. Red hair that goes on forever, like waves crashing on the shore endlessly. My interest was teased, tickled and by the end of the night her phone number was mine.
Smitten
We talked, laughed, shared and opened up to one another about ourselves. We kissed over and over again, satisfying our sexual tension from the last time's teaser. Perhaps too much so as we were left bare - not in skin, but in intimacy. As such, our relationship seemed to progress with lightning speed.
Confused - just as you let a shrapnel of light in...
But, there was something missing. Actually two things. First, it felt as though we couldn't hold a conversation without resorting to light petting to cover the overly-concious realisation that we don't match intellectually. It took me a while to figure out the second. Sex - there was none. It wasn't synchronising up - very intimate talks and touching, but... nothing, no progression.
Surprised
So I asked her, lo and behold she was a virgin in all manners of the word. An inexperienced, naive and most likely, scared girl. I wasn't totally taken by surprised, wasn't my first time around in this situation, but there was something different this time. I just didn't know what yet.
On the fence
These two obstacles stood firmly. Bothered me constantly and I kind of liked it - at first. I didn't think it would concern me as much as it does.
Now what?
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